Mondayyy

Today was one of my full day of classes. I ended up missing my first class though because I got locked out of my room on my way to take a shower and had to wait for my roommate to get back to let me in! I missed Psychology of Childhood, but made it to Precalculus, then Honors and ended my classes for the day with Lighting Design.

Today was actually a really good class in lighting design. We began hanging lights and doing all the technical aspects of setting them up for one of the student's projects (there are actually only three students in my class). There were several points during the class where I felt really uncomfortable because I was up so high on the catwalk to do stuff with the lights, but all in all it wasn't so bad. The picture above is of the the theater I have my class in called the Pavilion Theater. It's this small octagon shaped building outside the library that is actually a lot bigger than it looks on the outside. I'm thinking maybe after this semester of learning lighting design I can help do lighting for my old community theater's show this summer.

Tonight I had rehearsal for Pirates again tonight. We had a sing through of the first act with the orchestra for the first time which was interesting. It will improve by showtime I'm sure!

Well, after an exhausting day I'm off to bed! Goodnight!

Sean and I in matching shirts
at Pirates rehearsal

Math Homework

I have just spent way too much of my life doing my math homework. My brain is fried. I should stay up and write my paper for Honors but instead I think I will go to bed and wake up early and write it tomorrow morning. I always tend to produce better writing first thing in the morning. My mind is fresh and ready for the day, thinking about last night's dreams and what's to come throughout the day. I'm so glad I don't have late night classes. I'm such an old person. I get tired so early in the night. I've been doing well to get up fairly early in the mornings too which is good because I'm more productive. I enjoy having classes starting at 11 on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays because I have time to clean or do homework before I get ready for the day. I better get to bed if I want to wake up fairly early tomorrow! Goodnight!

Missing someone...

Being in a long distance relationship with a man in the military who lives across the country, three time zones away, and in California definitely is far from easy but usually is tolerable to handle.

Tonight though is one of those nights where it's hard for me. I'm so tired I just want someone to lay down next to me and hug me, I'd like my best friend here to make me laugh or say something that will at least make me smile. I want to sit here and talk to him about random things that don't matter or other things that do.

A huge thing that makes this even more difficult is that he has never been on this campus and never has any idea of the places I'm talking about, nor has he ever met any of my friends other than via Skype so he can only imagine what these people are like.  He's never stepped foot into my world, only the one I used to live in back home, which is another thing that makes this so hard. He has no presence here. Yeah there's pictures of us up around my room, and I have a couple of his sweatshirts lying around, but the pictures don't move, and the sweatshirts don't smell like him. A picture can't capture the laugh he has when I say something incredibly dorky but funny. Wearing his sweatshirt won't make up for the warmth I feel when he holds me in his arms.

I love hanging out with my roommate and all my other friends. I love my life here at UMaine, but sometimes it can be really hard. It's hard to be so far away from the one person I enjoy being with the most and it's especially hard only seeing him once or twice a year.

I'm usually a really strong independent person when it comes to this. Just once in a great while I get like this. I break down like a normal human being and have trouble handling it. I really am proud of myself for how well I cope with being in a long distance relationship. I have a good friend in one that just sits in his room doing nothing or talking to his girlfriend all day and night despite many invitations to do otherwise. I also have seen people not be able to resist temptation. I am proud of myself for putting myself out there and meeting new people and not letting my lack of a boyfriend here get me down. I allow myself to have fun all while remaining faithful.

Alright I think this episode of sorrow is over for now. Writing it down got it out of my system. Time to get some sleep and start a new day. Goodnight!

Bowlinggg

I forgot to post yesterday after I got out of rehearsal! Yesterday I took this picture.

I love the environment at UMaine. It's just little things like this or sidewalk chalk writings that make me smile. I am definitely reassured I made the right decision to come here.


Tonight I went bowling with my roommate, her boyfriend, her brother who's here for the weekend, and our friend Geo. I haven't been bowling in forever and it was pretty fun! I'm super tired now and I have to wake up early to go to a work call for the musical tomorrow so I will just end this with pictures from tonight!

My roommate Kaitlin and I

Me and Corey

Kyle and Kaitlin

Kaitlin and Geo

Me and Geo

Kaitlin and me

Corey and Kaitlin

 Goodnight!

Overheard Dialogue at the Bangor Mall

    Amy, a twenty-something petite blonde woman with stylish clothes and a friendly smile, walked into Victoria’s Secret one snowy afternoon slightly anxious. She had a to do list a mile long and checking things off of it was taking more time than she had anticipated. After walking around the store aimlessly for several minutes she decided she’d be better off asking one of the sales associates for help. So Amy approached Allison, a gorgeous brunette with a helpful persona, and told her what she was looking for today, the perfect bra to go under her wedding dress. Allison suddenly felt the pressure upon realizing that this sale was not going to be just a normal sale. She needed to make it right. As they discussed the excitement of the upcoming wedding Allison picked up several bras she thought might work and they made their way to the dressing room. “So you just decided two weeks ago?” asked Allison slightly surprised by the speedy planning.
    “Well, we've been engaged for a while but he’s in the military and he just found out he’s getting deployed in March,” replied Amy with a look of both excitement and worry on her face. “We decided it would be best to get married before he leaves.”
    “Oh, well that makes sense,” said Allison with a smile, slightly taken aback and not knowing exactly how to respond. “So where are you having the wedding?”
    This was a good choice of topic change for now Amy began to get excited, “We decided to have it at the Winterport Winery.”
    “Ooh,” replied Allison pleased with herself, “That sounds like a nice place to hold a ceremony. So, have you thought about getting something a little sexy for the wedding night?”
    “Yes,” Amy responded with a smile, “I’ll be needing your help to pick that out too.”

Bust a Move

 

Today I woke up in the mood to dance. After finishing some homework that I had put off doing the night before and had woken up early to do, I decided that putting on my Rockettes shirt would be an appropriate choice of attire. I've seen the Rockettes perform their Christmas show three times and watch them every year on the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. I love watching how well they all synchronize their movements. I've always thought how cool it would be to be one of them. Last year though, I found out that due to genetics I would never be able to become one. The height requirement is a minimum of 5'7'', and I am only 5'3''. So much for that dream!

Every once in a while I get in one of those happy moods where all I want to do is dance. I had a very busy day consisting of four back to back classes, a singing rehearsal for the musical, and then a real rehearsal. Backstage when there wasn't a whole lot to do I'd start doing really ridiculous dance moves. I've danced pretty much my whole life and sometimes it's just in my nature to want to bust a move. Although it's been a couple months since I've actually really danced choreography sometimes it's fun to just turn on some music really loud and dance around my room, and when I got home from rehearsal that's exactly what I did.

Oops! Almost forgot!

So it's almost 1AM and I was about to go to bed when I remembered I hadn't posted anything yet. Today was a really good day full of fun enjoyable people. I also played guitar a lot. The thing I wanted most this year for Christmas was a new guitar so I could really improve my playing, I had been using my mom's old guitar that she got for her birthday when she was really young and it just wasn't cutting it. Even though I'm not that good at guitar I love teaching myself how to get better at playing. I took a class last year in high school to learn the basics, but for the most part I have been teaching myself. I'm weird though in that I really don't like playing in front of people. I think I have reverse stage fright. I'd rather sing, dance, act, or play something in front of a huge audience than just for a few people. Anyways, I played with my boyfriend on Skype as well as my roommate listening in, which was good enough for me. I'm hoping that soon I'll be able to write a song, but we'll see about that. I'm horrible at writing songs. I'm exhausted so today's entry is going to be a short one. But here's a bunch of pictures I took of my guitar today!

Goodnight!

One of those theater kids

Today was cold. Negative twenty-five degrees to be exact. Bundling up in a flannel shirt, heavy sweater, winter jacket, wool socks with small socks, boots, gloves, and of course my mad bomber hat. Other than that I really have no complaints about the day, in fact I had a really good day.

After leaving rehearsal tonight I was smiling. I realized how happy I am to be in the musical production I am in. I am making a lot of really good friends. Although we did not spend a lot of time on stage today, I spent the majority of the rehearsal backstage talking with the other members of the cast. There are three people in particular that I have become close to and it just so happens that all of them have been students here for four or five years. Each of them are so confident with who they are and know their place in the world. I love talking to them because they always have something interesting to talk about. I also love how easily they have accepted me as someone to talk to. Dillon and I will make fun of each other back and forth, always exchanging witty comments. I also love just listening to Sarah and Sarah talk about their pasts and their experiences in past shows at UMaine. They're incredibly interesting people.

Aside from these three, I have made new friends with many of the other people in the cast. I have always been drawn to hanging out with people involved in band and theater. There's just something about these sorts of people that make me feel comfortable to be around. I feel as though I can be myself around these people and not be embarrassed. Theater and band people have always seemed more accepting and open. People involved in theater also have this air of self assurance that I love. It makes me feel more comfortable in my skin. Also, they usually have the best sense of humor. I find myself laughing the hardest just listening to a bunch of theater kids talk, there is rarely a dull moment.

Although there is a huge possibility that I will switch my major from theater I am sure that I will always keep it in my life no matter what. Performing is something I love to do more than anything, but also, I just love being one of those theater kids,

19 Lessons I've Learned in 19 Years

Recently I've become re-addicted to Stumble Upon. I remembered I had an account a couple weeks ago and have been using it a bunch ever since. One website it brought me to was about the "27 lessons I've learned in 27 years". After reading through what this person had to say I thought it would be do the same thing for myself. Especially over the past year I have come to learn a lot of really good valuable lessons. I have done a lot of growing up and maturing over the past year. A lot of it has to do with the fact that I am now on my own, but a lot of it also has to do with people that have come and gone in my life over the past year. So here it is, the 19 lessons I've learned.

1. Friendship is two-sided. If the other person is not willing to put in the work to maintain it, then you shouldn't stress yourself over it either, because it's not worth it.

2. Do what makes you happy. If this means going against the norm so be it.

3. Everything happens for a reason.

4. Never ever drink pink lemonade and then have vanilla pudding. Also never soak apples in salt water and then eat them.

5. Music can instantly change your mood. If you want to be in a better mood, put on some good music.

6. Kids respect you more if you treat them like equals, but still assert authority over them.

7. Hanging out with a bunch of guys doesn't always mean less drama, it just means a different kind of drama.

8. Talking or crying are the best ways to relieve stress.

9. Just because you have money doesn't mean you need to spend it.

10. Appreciate the little things and never take anything for granted.

11. Surround yourself with people that make you happy. Life's too short to hang around people that make you miserable. Also, surround yourself with people that make you laugh. Laughter is always the best medicine.

12. Stand up for yourself when needed, but also know when to back down.

13. Chocolate fixes everything.

14. The best relationships come out of friendship.

15. Know how to laugh at yourself. It makes the hard situations easier to handle.

16. It's okay to be alone sometimes. It's also okay to sit in a room with someone and not speak.

17. As much as it sucks to admit it, Mom and Dad usually know best. (I said usually Mom... :P)

18. Disney movies and Disney music never get old.

19. Never ever, ever pour water on a fire resulting from bacon grease. Use baking soda!

Today's picture is of my bulletin board in my dorm full of pictures of everyone who's been there for me throughout my life. And now, it's time to watch Anastasia with my roommate and write an Honors paper!

Screwdrivers, salt, sawdust, shopping, and staple removal

Today we had "Load in Day" for the musical. Basically my day consisted of helping move walls, unscrewing pieces off the the floor in the front of the stage, help move more walls, help move a telephone pole in from the snow from the top of a roof, remove staples from a wall, help move a pirate ship, and then help move more walls. I could have opted to paint with many of the other girls, but I've always been one to want to use power tools and stick with the boys during construction projects. In high school I would always get mad when I was put on jobs like makeup or props during the set strike of musicals. Even though I'm tiny I know how to use a drill just like the rest of them! So instead today, I helped to do some of the other tasks. The telephone pole I mentioned earlier was lodged in tons of snow from yesterday's storm on top the roof outside the black box theater. One of the guys in the cast got the idea of using salt water to lodge it out. Like any resourceful college student, this resulted in about five or six of us ripping open salt packets stolen from the Union and pouring them into a cup. The looks on the faces of people around us were hysterical, but it ended up working!

After we were finally dismissed from load in, my roommate and three of our guy friends went to the mall. I spent the gift card my parents gave me for my birthday to get five new shirts and I also spent some birthday money on a gray jacket much to my surprise was only $26.24 instead of the $50 I thought I would have to spend. I definitely also just fell asleep when we went to go see a movie in town! It's been a long productive day in contrast with yesterday. I also got a delivery this morning while I was at load in! Beautiful flowers from "Your Airman" for my birthday!

And now, it's time for bed.

Turning 19!

I've always seen people do a project where they take a photo every day for a year. I've loved photography for a long time now ever since I got a camera of my own, and now I have decided to take on the project myself. The day of my nineteenth birthday seems like no better day to begin this project. Documenting the everyday occurrences of my life should prove to be rather interesting and hopefully I'll get some good shots out of it! I'm excited to see where life takes me. I know some days, like today, will turn out to be lazy ones with little to do, while others I expect I will travel to places I've either never been or frequently visit. I plan to document both exciting days with friends and family or low-key typical days. I've always been one to look at the world around me and see it in a photograph. I've noticed the little things around me and often time captured them to share with others. I look forward to making this a daily thing.

My Hometown(s)

When I tell people I'm from Naples it seems odd to say I only have one hometown. Where I grew up, my high school was made up of four towns: Naples, Casco, Bridgton, and Sebago. In elementary school we all went to separate schools, except Casco and Naples were together. Within our district of Lake Region, not to be confused with Lakes Region or the Lakes Region, each town had its separate elementary sports teams too. Sebago was always awesome at soccer, but the Naples team always kicked butt in basketball! After competing against each other for the first seven years of our schooling we all came together in middle school. Although each town mixed together and formed friendships with students from different towns it was usually always obvious who was from where. The "Sebagans" typically wore their flannel shirts, Carhartts, and work boots. They would also usually be found talking about hunting or as we aged and got into high school, how much drinking they had done at Stickney Hill the night before. (Ironically our hard-ass assistant principal's last name was Stickney). The Sebagans were your stereotypical hicks. Many would often hear of summer escapades in B-Town, biking through the streets of downtown, going to the old fashioned movie theater, or on those nice summer nights catching a movie at the drive-in theater. Then there were those from Naples and Casco who could be seen in their early teen years hanging out down at the Causeway or those from Casco volunteering at Casco days or shooting hoops at the local gym. Lake Region sports events were always prime example of the connection between my four hometowns, especially basketball games. Laker fans young and old would gather all donned in their blue and gold garb ready to cheer their team on to victory. These fans could be seen at all the home games and even more impressively at the tournament games at the Cumberland County Civic Center. Although my address may be in Naples, I really do have four hometowns and they are the four that make up the community Lake Region.

Christmas Eve Buffet

    You know it’s Christmas Eve in the Walker house when Christmas music is playing on the stereo and the kitchen is full of the women in the house all slicing, dicing, chopping, or preparing some kind of dish. When my mother was a child her mom would prepare a buffet every Christmas Eve that the family would gather and eat together. When my mom grew older she continued the tradition with our family.
    I wake up early today, before my brother and sister hearing Christmas music already playing downstairs. As I walk down my grandfather greets me with a hug. Despite the low key Christmas we had last year without my grandparents I am really glad to have them here this year. My grandfather’s face is beaming with joy and I can tell there is no other place in the world he would rather be right now. As I make my way to the kitchen I can already see the preparations in the works. I spy my mother in her special Christmas reindeer apron cutting up chicken with her trusty sous chef beside her, a sixteen year old golden retriever, husky, collie mix named Charlie who’s health has been slowly dwindling away, yet she always  finds time to mooch off whatever Mom is preparing in the kitchen. “Good morning!” I say giving her a hug, “Anything I can do to help?” After reading through the list of dishes that still need to be made I decide on making a steak teriyaki appetizer that is usually one of my many tasks each year. As I begin to walk to the refrigerator I recall how just a month ago I was here doing the same thing, assisting my mom in the kitchen to make our Thanksgiving dinner. Cooking is something my mom has enjoyed teaching us to do as her mother did when she was growing up.
    I remove the steak from a very full refrigerator and smile. After being away from home the majority of the first semester, coming home to a house full of delicious food is something I always look forward to. Nothing says, “Welcome home” like the scent of someone working in the kitchen. I then find the teriyaki sauce from the cupboard. I seem to almost dance around my mother to get a knife we both laugh as I tell her to stay in place so that I won’t hurt her as I move around her. Now all I need is a cutting board before I can set up shop. “Oh, Sydney knows just what to do!” my grandfather says sitting at the dining room table while he eats his breakfast. I now realize he had been watching me the entire time. “Well yeah, Grampy,” I respond, “Mom’s been showing me how to cook for a very long time!” I proceed to cut the steak up into strips and put them into a bowl to marinade in teriyaki sauce. Later I will wrap each strip around a water chestnut.
    Thinking of the rush the shower will later get before church in a house of four girls now that my family is hosting an Italian foreign exchange student I tell my mom I will be back after I get ready for the day.  As I walk upstairs I glance at the bare dining room table. Right now it may look this way, but tonight it will be anything but. A bright red tablecloth will be the setting for a plethora of food. Steaming meatballs, tasty cheese fondue, crisp crabmeat roll ups, delicious crepes with an apple and chicken filling, crunchy taco cups, chicken broccoli braid, a recent favorite in the Walker household, and a three tier plate of assorted cookies. I think of the people that will later join us for this meal, my immediate family including my parents, my sister, brother, and my Italian sister, both sets of grandparents, my father’s brother, and also my boyfriend and his brother. How I love being in a house full of good food and loved ones. I suddenly catch myself and fall out of my gaze. I need to run upstairs and shower so I can hurry back to help my mom. This feast isn’t going to cook itself!

Hannaford Date

The most memorable dates I’ve ever been on have nothing to do with freshly cut flowers, fancy restaurants, or walks on the beach. In fact there’s nothing even remotely close to that about them. The first two dates I ever went on, I puked. Three or four times  I puked in the bathroom of the restaurant we went to as well as the restroom of the movie theater. I still wonder to this day how the guy I went on those dates with is still in my life after those really bad experiences! I’m glad he is though otherwise we would have never had one of the best afternoons I’ve ever had. We were both broke and all we had between the two of us was a bunch of change and a bag of bottles. We decided that we would drive to the redemption center and get money back and then go to Hannaford and use the Coinstar machine there. While at Hannaford we decided that instead of going out to eat we would buy our food right there and drive somewhere else to eat it. We had fun picking out small helpings of potato salad, chicken, and an ice cream to split between the two of us. When we got to cashier to check out we were pleased to hear that we had redeemed enough to change to not only pay for our meal, but we were actually going to get some extra money back. We walked to car deciding where to go to eat our picnic. On our drive to a playground at the school we had both gone to many years ago we laughed the entire time about our situation. When we arrived at our destination we set out a picnic for ourselves on a flat rock, one that held childhood memories for us both. I to this day still have our receipt from that afternoon, one we affectionately call our “Hannaford Date”. That night I went home smiling thinking about how no matter how unplanned and spontaneous the afternoon was I had one of the best afternoons I could’ve asked for. All because I had spent it with my best friend.

Dancing in the Kitchen

My entire life music has always played a role in my life. In fact, for the entire eighteen and a half years that I lived in my house on Franklin Court if someone was home it was almost guaranteed there would be music of some form playing. My parents would always blast music over the stereo system they got for their wedding whenever they were cleaning or cooking. I would love to wake up and hear Billy Joel, Sting, Matchbox Twenty or something of the sort singing downstairs. My younger sister usually has music playing over her laptop, if not then she’ll have headphones on listening to her iPod. If this is the case she is not to be disturbed for she’s lost in “iPod land”, a term I started using whenever she was nonrespondent. Music brought our family together. There were many times where we’d all drop what we were doing and start dancing together in the kitchen, or start singing at the top of our lungs, or sing and harmonize with each other. As my siblings and I have grown older we have all started to play instruments and sing in choirs and musical productions. While we do these things as a family too, the times that I look back on the most and smile about are those times when we’ve danced in the kitchen. It’s a silly tradition I hope to carry on with my own family some day.

Pickles: Inspired by the True Story of a Classmate

This is it. I have had it. I let it slide when they used my bathroom and left the seat up, I politely looked away when they invited friends over, but my pickles?! MY pickles? Don't they know that those pickles are all I have to live for, the only companions I have in this apartment of barbarians? Are they aware how much time and energy I put into assuring their well being? Apparently not because they have the audacity to just walk into the kitchen open the refrigerator and take a bite out of one of my beloved pickles as if it were a giant sausage devouring it as if they were some hungry hyenas on the prowl, gnawing on something I love as if it were my own child! Those neanderthals ate my child! This is it. This is the last straw.

The Smell of Rain

All my life I have always loved the smell of rain. I remember saying this to someone once and they gave me a funny look questioning the fact that rain has a smell. This smell has meant so much more than just rain. It has allowed for a cozy day indoors with family, it has prompted a celebratory dance outside with my younger siblings laughing as we all got wet, more recently it has become a signal of hope and good to come. The summer after my junior year of high school I wrote letter after letter to my boyfriend who was going through basic training for the Air Force in Texas. In these letters I always included quotes. One of my favorites to this day has been "When it rains it reminds me of you. Although 2000 miles away is so far I still always walk outside in the rain and kiss it just for you. It never fails me. The rain will always come and I'll always love you. Next time you see a storm on the horizon please don't fear it's just heaven doing me the favor of taking you my kiss. Walk outside and kiss the rain whenever you need me." Ever since rain has brought me immense joy. I walk outside and recall jumping in mud puddles with my brother. I envision standing beside my sister in the dark outside doing bad ballet twirls in the driveway. It reminds me as I look up in the sky and feel the drops of rain on my face that my boyfriend is thinking about me. Most importantly, every time it rains it brings a smile to my face, for I remember all the good things that rain has brought me. For some it may bring disgust and annoyance with inclement driving conditions and wet clothing, but for me it has brought me laughter, joy, hope, and reassurance. It may sound strange, to that person who once questioned the existence of the smell of rain, but if only they knew. Then perhaps they would be able to share the joy the scent brings to my life too.